Distracted?

I am. Lots. This blog is distracting, my hat is distracting. But what’s worse? The knowledge that  I actually did a good amount of work yesterday. That’s the most distracting. I find myself sitting in my lab, staring at my monitor blankly. I’ve gotten ahead of myself and now I’m stuck wondering what the hell I’m meant to be doing! I’d like to start writing…but I’m scared of that thought so I’d rather continue on the “application” part of this dissertation. Only thing left to do with the app is improve the graphical elements, which I really don’t want to do right now cause I’m not feeling particularly creative. I just need something boring and simple to do to pass the time.

And so i’m left contemplating starting to write my propaganda essay! Madness I know. Atleast it’s something I’m interested in. I’ve chosen the Public Relations question. I’ll post my essay when I’ve written it. Looking into McNair and Bernays and all that jazz. Realistically though, I’m not going to do any work now. I’ve been in for an hour and nothing is done except this post. doh!

Happy Easter!

y

 

Why I think this country has begun the spiral out of control. part 1

The Government. Mainly anyway, but politics for me has been made irrelevant and thus meaningless to the average joe. When all the while the
government decide on issues that will directly affect us all, bills are being passed underneath the radar, sweeping up liberties that we assumed were ours for the keeping.

The police seem too extreme in both ends to affect any change.

There is a social trend throughout the population that the individual knows best, moral guidance has all but disappeared, with strongholds in the religious centres holding out for now. But we see the Christian churches, for example, claiming the need to “modernise” away from their traditional standing. I see this as a problem and the direct result from a spiralling society.

The next observation I have noticed is a lack of strong role-models, the fall of the family and the a widespread disregard for traditional authority figures. These all concern the youth of Britain directly. The definition of “Man” and “Woman” has been blurred, as has the concept of “Family”. People may claim an understanding of what a working family is in 2008, but i believe that even in the church there is a real absence of clarity. The links that allowed knowledge and guidance to have been learned and passed on from one generation to another has been broken. We are entering into an age of personal authority, where everyone has authority over everyone else. There is no respect between young and old, instead there is a demand for respect that never gets met. Sweeping statements aside for a moment, I am frequently seeing more and more youths out on the streets of my local towns, after hours and quite clearly looking for entertainment which results in trouble. They cause unrest and disturbing the peace, creating fear from their aggressive attitude. When the police do come around, and certainly they do come eventually, there is no respect for truth and honour, there is no authority, and the only authority that the police seem to govern over these youth is one of physical aggression themselves. Respect for the law, and those upholding the law has dewindled to an alarmingly small percentage.

But all of this can be controlled by the government.

Education, widespread social reform, implying reason and meaning toward participation in morally active communities such as religious centres, community centres and family-based activities like regular reunions and gatherings. Direct community responsibility and consequences, reclaiming teachers rights in gaining authority over the children they teach. Emphasis on the importance of social skills and developing sympathetic and conscientious thought processes early on.

 

Gaming: part 1.

I play lots of computer games. The reasons are simple; I enjoy the achievements and graphics, communities and geek-associations, general learning that make the games I play FUN.

Recently in the last year my gaming habits have changed from primarily being centred around FPS and RTS/TBS games, to a dramatic shift, dropping FPS almost altogether and replacing it and much of my RTS time with MMORPG’s. This is obviously due to a sudden rise in a) income, b) internet connection coupled with capable computer.

I now look at computer games in a whole new light. I judge them very differently. I now compare games based on if what it supplies, fits with my bartle personality, that of explorer/socializer/achiever/killer. Games are going to be fun, they wouldn’t be made otherwise right? Most of the time killing repetitively is not fun for me, despite the level that would result in said killing, but if I added in that it was in a place in the game I had not been, and with people I enjoyed talking with, i’d do it.

 

H****m Whiskey…the future.

There is a certain product being discussed in the office,causing quite a stir. The potential for such a product is infinite. I just felt I had to share my joy in being part of this immense project. for copyright reasons I cannot fully disclose the name.

It is an honour. Thank you.

On a side note, I have been unofficially banned from saying most of the english language. Reason being that apparently my accent makes anything sound ‘wrong’. *sigh*. Among the words banned are: Dirty, wet, Slutty, Smutty, moist, wrong, witch, filth, smack, bash…the list goes on. and on. and on. Naturally I will ignore this ban when necessary, e.g. when making some very important point about dirty slutty witches, or discussing the benefits of a cold drink over a hot one. Needless to say, I was very distressed when the ban came into effect at first. But I can view it in a better light now, with much less banter directed my way and more banter coming from me instead.

More on banter later.

 

Dissertation thoughts

I know its a long away off before I have to think about Final Year Projects, but I have just finished my workload for the Blackburn project and I’m stuck with nothing to do. Foolishly I opened up the Dissertation Guidelines and started reading. About half way down the second page I started getting rather nervous. By the time I finished I realised that the choice of subjects, topics and questions associated was so broad and yet requiring such specifics that it was probably a good job I opened this now. This is a mammoth task for me. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do next year.

I want an amazing (new), captivating project that will keep me engaged for the whole year, that I can draw my expriences at 3dw and my interests elsewhere and combine them into a worthwhile use of my time and energy.

Also I am brutally aware that I have lost all skills associated with 3d studio max. My photoshop skills have certainly improved and i’ve learnt a new software, that unfortunately isn’t used at university. I guess what I could do is be awkward and model in Realax and import into 3d studio max. Not ideal by any stretch. I’m going to have to relearn it.
So in conclusion, If I choose a project with a modelling outcome, which is highly likely, then I face the challenge of relearning with remarkable speed a highly complex piece of software, and then produce a masterful piece.

*sigh*

At the moment I’m putting together a list of topics, although i’m not sure what they would look like as a project, as I don’t really know what a project looks like anyway. I think i might start asking my graduate friends for their projects to get some sort of idea as to what is expected.

I’ve decided I want a first. I think if I work hard enough I can get it. Especially if I choose a good project, and sort out version numbers/library files and the like for studio max soon.

Hmmm, maybe that could be a good christmas present. *hint* * hint*

 

Lay of the land…

Just working on some terrain at work. Its so different from the newbuild houses that I just finished. Its all so much bigger. I can’t imagine how they work on those huge mmo’s that have vast terrains and great expanses of modelling. *sigh* now that would be a dream job.

I found a £10 book token at the weekend (very exciting). I think it was from a christmas present my Godmother gave me last year maybe… but as what tends to happen in my paperwork, it got lost. Anyway I thought I’d go and spend it today. I bought two books I’ve been eyeing up every time i see them on the shelf.

The first is Knights of Black and White by Jack Whyte. I loved the britons series, which I read with Dad afew years ago. I can’t wait to get stuck into this new series. I’ll be sure to tell you about how I’m getting on with the novel later on.

The other book is Simple Genius by David Baldacci. He got me through some tough times in New Zealand (injuries and so on) with his thrillers, this looks like another cracker. Bonus on the “buy one get one Half price” deal, I only spent 48p with my voucher. Dispite these books I’m still chugging my way through the Wintersmith by Terry Practchett. Its so slow-going what with only being able to read for 20 min or so before I fall asleep, normally with teh book ontop of me and the light still on, and 5-10 min at lunch. The story is memorable though, I know the characters well enough to pick it up whereever I left, be it a day, a week or a month since last reading it.

 

Christmas Party season officially open… Lock and load people!

I for one find free food to be the primary reason for attending parties, secondary to socializing, i mean, i can do that anywhere…why go to a party for that when there a free meal involved! Naturally its an added bonus, but really, i feel no guilt in turning up to a party just from food motivations. Bring on the pigs-in-blankets!

On a side note, went to a wonderfully entertaining party friday…ended up teaching signs to everyone. I was never a fan of playing signs, but its definitely a spectator sport, much like mafia is for me too.

p.s. Apologizes to myself for not blogging recently, busy days i guess.

 

no more stress? pah

you’d think finishing a second year of university would aliviate stress. Any normal person would, i think, find that the release of pressure to perform would be good for stress levels.

I’d say thats correct, for me anyway, but with one stress over and done with, another very quickly emerges and takes over. Its as if my mind cannot be without stress, stressful thoughts, environments for more than afew days.

So theres a wedding to attend, house to find, birthdays to celebrate, gifts to make, cards to design, parents to please, sisters to cater for ex to get over and all this i’m supposed to do as if im stress free because im the “lucky one” without exams. wooo yay…

i guess they are right, those people who say this “lucky one” business, cause if i did hav exams, i’d still hav all those things PLUS exams. but with exams or coursework deadlines, it almost gives permission for ignoring or sidelining all the above. Theres so much importance placed on exams, grades, passing and qualifications that when the pressure is on surrounding them, they take precedent, without even thinking i think.

Had the very very last CU meeting last night, as aposed to the week before, which was the very last CU meeting with speaker. last night was prayer and praise, amazing what can happen when everyone starts praying together. Some v cool images on the paintsheet behind us…i’d show you but i didn;t bother taking any fotos. i was pretty much put in my place by God though. needed a good slap, really don’t know what I have been thinking this last few weeks. whatever its been it hasn’t been from God and it certainly hasn’t been the same, constantly changing. emotions and thoughts tend to be like that.

piffle piffle. that was just a little comment for steamy, i lost my wallet on the trams on monday, joy of joys, but the treasure hunt was well good and i enjoyed the clues lots. hehe.

okay so i should prolly get back home and do some hoovering. oh and also maybe start on some birthday present making thing. arg.

til next time..

oh yea, nz visa thing is almost sorted so hopefuly my christmas holiday could be to nz! whey!

 

tbt presentations: tres entertaining…bon.

a wonderful set of films i have just witnessed.  especially enjoyed  the watchhog one..well cool product, black sunglasses. good crash scene too.

our groups film was well received tho, everyone seemed to laugh at the right moments..just about to watch a shot animation, looking forward to when i hand in the report. i’ll be over and i’ll go crazy!

good crazy tho.

will add stuff later on today…

oh and also will write that nz visa thing i promised before.

 

Arg with technology i say! ARG!

grr and arg. while i write this i am infact fully expecting my pc to crash all around me, for me to lose both my writing and a small percentage of my sanity, and also that little bit of love for technology, which repeatedly calls me back. today started so well. although yesturday didn;t finish as nice as I had hoped. we had a small echo issue on one scene of my groups film. not a problem tho, just a simple fiddle around with the audio in final cut pro and it was sorted in a matter of minutes. previously to this i had already acheived more in my day than normal… I had done two loads of washing, accidentally shrunk a perfectly good hoodie so that it fits even better (amazing!), collected all the letters and whatnot for mum (nz visa, will explain when im not as tired), and had a shower with my new showergel: grapefruit showergel. mmmmm. i tell u i have been smelling good all day. even got a comment at christian union too!..anyway i digress. I also managed to have breakfast, ponder on some more website designs and complete medal of honour: pacific assult. ( i didn’t start it today…but i feel its still an acheivement).

so as u can see my day upto the audio tweaking has been going wonderfully.

the techy leaves at 5ish. we all look happily at the dvd burning progress bar, and then it happens. “failed **********” u see i dont even read the *’s the failed is enough to ruin my day. 2 and a half hours later of trying and failing to burn a dvd we keep getting this message…”invalid asset imported” or some such rubbish. arg and grrr. gggrrr!!!

so am almost running late for cu, which i was looking forward to lots. then we look at james 2, a passage i personally was struggling with 2 weeks ago at church. i get all bogged down in theology and questioning stuff i almost forget about the dvd. then i get a call from my groupmate…it didn;t work, and now we cant book a lab for tomorrow.

i give up.

the pub was great though. kudos to the pub…yay pub. and dispite losing to luke at pool (v embarrassing), go home slightly relaxed.

i get to work on my report and this computer goes and crashes on me. its just not my day is it! well the second half isn’t anyway. definitely someone elses afternoon/evening. i think i prefer to have the evenings, start with a really rotten morning ( i’d sleep through the morning if i could) someone else could hav the afternoon and i’ll take a great evening thanks. finish on a high. go to sleep smiling, happy and joyful.

obviously i’d like all day to be great, but the realist in me says “fool!. well actually he shouts “fool!” but moving on.

i wonder who would read my ramblings…

listening to: taxi drivers arguing outside